He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
