I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
