I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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