Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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