I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
