Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
