dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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