Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize