we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
