he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
