Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
