so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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