Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
