Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
