k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
