You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
