Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
