I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize