After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
