eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
