So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
