the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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