so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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