if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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