I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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