butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
