I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
