So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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