i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
