We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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