You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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