I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
