return my video game
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
