they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
do herpes really smell.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
