He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
