The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
