The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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