she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
