dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
