I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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