Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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