wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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