Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
