Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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