i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
