You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
