Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
