I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
