Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
