he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
