There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
