gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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