the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
