I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
