Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
