yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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