thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
