Its about making memories worth repressing
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize