so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
