god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
