we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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