Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
