i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
