You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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