a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
