Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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