Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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