you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
