Nicole vs. Life
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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